Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

Year B: Proper 22

This means that when he criticizes the scribes and Pharisees it is, once again, not part of a new proposal that he is making in the light of which they look foolish. His concern about them is that in them, Israel is falling short of what it should have been from the beginning.

James Alison

Year B, Proper 22, October 6, 2024

First Reading: Genesis 2:18-24

Psalm: Psalm 8

Second Reading: Hebrews 1:1-4, 2:5-12

Gospel: Mark 10:2-16

Sermon - Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

Note: I gotta tell ya, I was not “feeling it” this week. You already know about my sinus infection and my daughter’s virus; well, my son has been sick this whole weekend too. I was so tired this morning when I delivered the sermon. It felt like I wasn’t totally present.

One of the challenges of preaching through a lectionary is that you have to talk about passages you would probably prefer to skip. This was the case today with Mark 10:2-16. There is a lot of baggage surrounding this passage in my tradition, and I know people within my congregation have been personally hurt by sincere Christians’ interpretation of this passage, so I felt like it was duty to offer some healing comments on this text.

First, I said that there is baggage surrounding this passage; that wasn’t exactly correct. The real trouble is with a similar passage in the sermon on the mount and the parallel to this text in Matthew 19. The main question brought up by these two texts is the “exception clause” offered by Jesus in Matthew’s gospel: “anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery.”

The obvious response to this is something like, “Well, Jesus, what if the husband is abusive? Would it be wrong for a woman to sue for divorce in those cases?”

And, unfortunately, the answer from some Christians has been “yes.”

In fact, these passages have been used to teach (1) infidelity is the only valid reason for divorce and any divorce that doesn’t list this as the reason isn’t actually valid, (2) any subsequent marriages following an “unscriptural” divorce are invalid and should be dissolved, and (3) the “guilty” party in a divorce is unable to remarry.

Churches have split, people have lost their communities, and ministers and have lost their careers over these questions. Not only that, but people have been refused baptism, communion, and church membership because of an “unscriptural” marriage.

For a detailed discussion of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, please see my friend Dallas’s article: https://freedominchrist.net/articles-on-marriage-divorce-and-remarriage/

What is interesting to me about this passage in Mark 10 is that it offers no exceptions. Nowhere in Mark does Jesus clarify that divorce can happen in the context of sexual immorality. Read the exchange between Jesus and some within the crowd here:

Some, testing him, asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:2–9

Now, let’s pretend you are in the original audience of the gospel of Mark. Would you know of the exceptions in Matthew? Probably not. So would you conclude from this that divorce is never permissible?

I don’t think so.

You see, everyone knew about the debate surrounding the “exception” listed in Matthew. The point of Mark is not to say that divorce is outlawed; the point is that if one approaches relationships seeking out exceptions from the very beginning, the relationship is doomed to have problems.

Note: there are actually several exceptions listed in scripture. In Exodus 21:10-11 says that a wife can leave her husband without debt if he neglects to provide food, clothing, and marital rights. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 teaches that if a spouse is abandoned because of the other spouse’s lack of faith, then they are not in bondage in such cases.

I think this is true with other relationships as well. We enter into any relationship with an exit strategy in the backs of our minds, how can we give ourself to the other person? How can we be open and honest and transparent? How can we be authentic?

God’s design for marriage is to be for life. It’s a commitment both sides should take very seriously.

But as we know, stuff happens. It’s not God’s design or the ideal situation, but it does happen. Good people we all know go through divorce.

So what does the Bible say to those who have been divorced? Can they remarry?

Here’s a passage from 1 Corinthians 7. I include the entire passage here because it sets the context for Paul’s remarks “in view of the impending distress.”

Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you do not sin, and if a virgin marries, she does not sin. Yet those who marry will experience distress in the flesh, and I would spare you that. 1 Corinthians 7:25–28

Paul’s admonition to not marry in this passage is in light of a troubling time that was coming upon the church, not a divine law which prohibits remarriage.

But pay attention to what Paul says here: “Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife, but if you marry, you do not sin…”

If you marry, you do not sin.

The truth is that not everyone has the gift of celibacy.

Divorce is tragic when it happens, and it always involves sin. For Christians, it should be the last resort, but it is not an unforgivable sin as some have taught. Remarrying is not sinful.

Circling back to something I said earlier though, there are so many debates about exceptions, and I think these debates miss the whole point. One of our problems in our society, which was true in Jesus’s day as well, is that people enter these relationships looking for a way out. This is unbecoming of Christians and not according to God’s design.

Allow me to offer one more thought on this. I’ve mentioned several times that I know people who have been divorced and remarried, sometimes for reasons other than infidelity. How can we be sure God blesses these new relationships?

Galatians 5 teaches that the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, gentleness, etc. At the end of this list, Paul said that “against such things there is no law.” Any relationship rooted in God will produce the fruit of the Spirit, and if the Spirit can produce that kind of fruit within a relationship that colors outside the lines of the worldview I inherited, then I can bless that relationship too.

Second Reading: The Exact Imprint of God’s Very Being

The Bible is a library of stories, laws, poetry, and prophecy that spans thousands of years. You might even say that the Bible is a conversation about who God is, what the point of life is, and what the future holds. The books of the Bible don’t exist in a vacuum; they were written in a specific time in reaction to or in anticipation of specific events by specific people to specific people, all of whom had unique feelings and perspectives and hopes and dreams and failures and victories.

The Bible also interacts with itself. Some voices doubt that Moabites could ever do anything right, but then Ruth comes along and shows us what true loyalty and love looks like. Other voices wish that Nineveh would disappear off the face of the earth, but then the story of Jonah challenges us to rethink who God cares for. Some voices suggest that regular sacrifices will keep God happy, but then Hosea comes along and tells us that God is really after people who show loving kindness and compassion, not sacrifice.

How do we sort all of this out? The Hebrews writer says,

“Long ago God spoke to our ancestors in many and various ways by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom he also created the worlds. He is the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being…” (Hebrews 1:1-3).

Jesus entered into the world he created to show us who God really is. He is the punctuation mark to thousands of years of conversation and speculation. The Word of God is what God has to say about himself.

When we read the Scriptures, we are reading words inspired by God. When we look at Jesus, we see the ultimate revelation of who God is and what all of those words were ultimately pointing to.

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Thanks so much for keeping up with this blog. If you have any suggestions, recommendations, or critiques, you can always comment here or reach out through my website: https://danielr.net.