Extinguishing the Blue Flame

some thoughts on being present

My bio dad (“deddy”) and second mom (Shea) were walking on the beach one evening around 2009 or so. As they watched the crabs scuttle to and fro, felt the water as the rhythm of the waves washed over their feet, and enjoyed the view of the enchanted night sky, they came across a group of teenagers standing in a circle.

“What is that blue fire they’re holding?” my mom asked.

“I don’t know,” my dad replied. “I think it’s some kind of light.”

That’s when they realized all the teens were holding phones.

I remember the shock in my mom’s voice when she was telling me about this experience.

With all the beauty and wonder in the world around them, how could anyone be looking down at a screen, especially in the company of friends?

What seemed strange fifteen years ago feels like the most normal thing today.

Standing in the line at the grocery store? Check Facebook.
You have a few moments between communion and contribution? Refresh your email.
There’s a lull in the conversation? Snap a picture of your food to keep up your streaks.

It’s rare to find someone who doesn’t have four or more hours of active screen time on their phone each day, not counting maps, CarPlay, and things like that. Apps like Facebook, Instagram, and X (what the old folks used to call Twitter) take up the bulk of that time.

I’ve been aware of my personal screen time problem for a while, but it wasn’t until the last few years that I’ve really wanted to do something about it. One book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, had a lot of good advice, but the methods suggested in the book to cut down on screen time didn’t stick for me personally, but they have helped a lot of people. I highly recommend that book.

More recently, my friend Tanner told me about the Light Phone and a book called Digital Minimalism. While I didn’t want to ditch smart phones entirely by going to the Light Phone, I did read and thoroughly enjoy Cal Newport’s book on the screen time epidemic.

To “dumb down” my phone, as Newport suggests, I invested in Brick, a physical device that blocks distracting apps on your phone. Brick is a physical device with a magnet on back that you can stick onto the side of a fridge or filing cabinet. It works in conjunction with your iPhone’s screen limit function to turn off and on access to apps.

It can even block access to easy ways to get around the screen time limits, such as the button at the bottom of the screen that allows you to just ignore the warnings.

Tethering your screen time limiter to a physical device means that these apps or functions are only accessible by going to the device and interacting with it.

After employing this device in conjunction with the digital declutter suggested by Newport in Digital Minimalism, I have cut down my active screen time use to below thirty minutes over the past few days.

But extinguishing the blue flame involves more than just committing to cutting down screen time. We have to relearn being human again. The best way to do this is by replacing screen time (4 hours a day!!) with something else.

In most cases, this means being more engaged with the people in your life: coworkers, spouses, children, the person next to you on the bus, or maybe even your animals.

But what do we do in those situations where we’re just bored?

While making observations about our environment, engaging in critical thinking, or some other similar mental activity may seem like the obvious choice, we have trained ourselves to handle something, to read something, to engage our minds with something external.

I’ve done a few things in my own life to fill these gaps while I relearn just being.

I’ve always been a notebook guy. I always have a notebook of ideas, journal entries, brain storming scribbles, outlines for creative projects, etc. I have a drawer filled with them.

When I go out somewhere now, I stick a pocket notebook in the pocket where I usually keep my phone, so when I instinctively reach towards my left pocket, I can take my notebook out instead and scribble down a few ideas, take note of something that happened, or write a letter to myself.

This has presented a problem, though.

What do I do with my phone in situations where I might need it?

My wife calls it my “murse,” but it’s actually a tactical waist storage pack that is optimized for hiking, what some people call a fanny pack. Keeping my phone in this bag has done two things for me: (1) it keeps my phone in an unfamiliar place that is guarded by a zipper so I can’t just access it without thinking about it, and (2) it means I can carry a smaller book around.

I’m currently keeping The Cloud of Unknowing on hand.

This transition has definitely been a challenge. I don’t always know what to do with my hands. Sometimes I feel inconvenienced by not being able to quickly check Facebook, email, or my YouTube statistics. I have also felt a bit of what might be separation anxiety.

At the same time, I realized I wasn’t getting much value from constantly cycling through these apps, and now I don’t really miss it.

I don’t get as many emails as I thought I did, and if I do, most people don’t expect an immediate response from me (your mileage may vary). I also don’t post much on Facebook already, so I’m really just checking it to burn time. And my YouTube stats don’t change enough to warrant me constantly checking the analytics.

All of these changes have made be more present with my awesome children, more engaged with my wife, and I’ve used some of the extra time I’ve saved by playing my mandolin more and transcribing solos off old records.

I feel less connected than I have since 2011, when I first got an iPhone, but I feel that this has been a net positive.

If you are interested in extinguishing the blue flame, check out Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport.

I’m going to document my smartphone-less journey for a while and keep you posted on successes, failures, and its effects on my life.

Bible Class Links

We just started Amos in my overview of the Minor Prophets. Click below to find the audios and handouts:

We’re almost through with the narrative portion of Daniel. Follow the class here:

I’ve written around 30,000 words on the eschatology of John. Follow that series here on substack. Here’s the first article:

I’m also doing a video study on 1 Corinthians 13 and the phrase “that which is perfect.” You can find that on YouTube:

Besides what’s posted here, I also post weekly sermons, bulletin articles, and the occasional podcast. Thank you so much for reading, watching, and listening!