And I Didn't Even Get to Lead Singing

A tale about saying 'no' and 5-hour Energy

I made it on the men-to-serve list.

When you’re “raised in the church,” baptism doesn’t change much about the way you’re already living life. You go to church just as much, you pray just as much, you read the Bible just as much. In the eyes of everyone around you, you are now saved, but since you hadn’t “reached the age of accountability”, there hasn’t been a time when you haven’t been saved, unless you count the few minutes, hours, or days before when you “went forward” to be baptized and when you got out of the water.

But another thing changes…if you’re a boy.

You get put on Tony’s legendary men-to-serve list. Every month it comes out. Who leads the opening prayer, who leads the closing prayer, who helps serve communion. It’s all there. It’s all predestined.

But this list leaves out three categories of people: (1) those who don’t want to lead a prayer or pass a communion tray, (2) males who haven’t been baptized, and (3) the ladies.

We need to talk about the third one…but maybe on another post.

The point is, when I was baptized on June 20, 2006, I stepped into several new responsibilities. I started serving communion and leading prayers, and eventually I even started preaching on Sunday nights on special occasions.

At some point in time, for reasons I don’t understand, they let me lead singing on Sunday morning. I got to pick out the songs, put the numbers up on the board, and start the songs out in front of everyone.

I even got to use this thing that definitely isn’t an instrument called a pitch pipe.

Moving on.

I was really into this new gig. I would practice my songs on the piano (allowed because it wasn't on Sunday), and I started to figure out which songs and keys were in my range (F was my favorite key).

One day I was driving in between Auburn and Piedmont, which is about two-and-a-half hours or so if you stop for gas, and I was practicing the hand motions required to beat the measures.

I’m really digging twelve beats by the way. In our church, we learned the first three and just repeated them for the others, but the swirls look cool. Another pleasure stripped away by the cold jaws of legalism and traditionalism (kidding).

Anyway, here I am in my car listening to Beulah Land recorded at the Diana Singing when I’m passed by a white SUV. When I look over at them, the mom and son are laughing, and the son is making hand motions obviously making fun of me.

That’s one of those times when I came really close to realizing how weird I was, but all of the neurons didn’t quite connect…and they still haven’t.

So I took being on the men-to-serve list seriously.

One weekend, my friends came to surprise me in Auburn. The only problem was I had to lead singing that Sunday. What would I do? Should I call in? Should I go up there anyway?

In classic Daniel fashion, I put off telling anyone my problem until the very last second… which was when my friends and I were playing video games at like 2am on Sunday morning. I told them what I had to do. I was duty-bound to be a song leader that day.

So, I did what any normal person would do. I bought two 5-hour energy shots, ate a pop-tart, and downed one of the shots before driving the two hours home with no sleep.

That was the first and only 5-hour energy shots I ever had.

Instead of giving me energy, it made me incredibly nauseous which led to me stopping on the side of the road several times in Roanoke, Wedowee, and Heflin.

When I made it to Piedmont, just in time for waffles at my grandparents’ house, I went to sleep on the couch and wasn’t able to go to church because I felt so sick.

I went through all of that, abandoned my friends in Auburn, and I didn’t even get to lead singing.

I feel like this is a common pattern in my life. I submit myself to things I know I shouldn’t because of some sense of duty or obligation. Saying ‘no’ has always been hard for me.

Of course, if you were raised like me, saying ‘no’ was never really an option, right? “Don’t say ‘no’ to me, son.”

And while children are supposed to mind, I think teaching them how and when to say ‘no’ also important. Otherwise they end up a disgraced song leader on the men-to-serve list leaning over beside his car on the side of highway 9 in Heflin. And that’s not a place where anyone wants to end up.

As I reflect on this now, I wonder how things might have gone had I learned to say ‘no’? How would things have gone had I been more clear about the difficulties of driving around five hours on many of the weekends for church? And how might my life be different now if I knew how to say ‘no’ to similar situations today?

As you and I grow together, let’s make a commitment to saying ‘no’ and taking better care of ourselves. This will make us healthier as individuals which will contribute to the overall well-being of our churches, communities, and our world.